Hi,

I made the beginning of a story, I'd love to hear what people think about it. As I wrote it the focus turned away from the mom but maybe I'll write more if people like it.


Short description

You're walking in a park and notice a sexy blonde girl talking on her phone. She drops her phone, bends over to pick it up only to find it's broken. You talk to her and tell her you can repair it but you'd need some tools. She invites you to her house in the evening but asks you to climb through her window, her mother is very strict and wouldn't allow boys in her room.

The girl:

Cindy, petite blonde, pigtails, braces, loves to suck lollypops, a bit shy but very horny and can't wait to turn 18 in a couple of months to finally escape her strict mother.

The mother:

Gina, voluptuous brunette, uptight, husband left a year ago leaving her with hidden sexual frustration.


I put the story here: http://www.euronet.nl/users/davidk/story/start.html

Spectacular idea!

My only criticism is that it should be more difficult. Maybe make Kaylee blackmail the player, saying the daughter is under age and threatening to take him to the cops for statutory rape if he doesn't pay her monthly. Then the player seduces the mother to get hold of the videos that *SHE* is using to blackmail Kaylee into sexual slavery. Those could be vidoes of Kaylee shoplifting from Gina's lingerie shop. And maybe Gina likes to bind and whip Kaylee or something like that. Anyway once the player gets those videos he turns the tables and blackmails Kaylee and Gina into a huge kinky foursome.

It's the drama and danger and power games that really make a story like this one sing.

Nice idea to make a story of it with multiple paths.

I will check it out in more detail later, but its a great idea presenting it this way.

Please, continue writing. I want to know more about Gina.

I have made a flowchart of your story just for fun. Would you mind if I upload it?

I think there should be some easy encounters to keep a sex game from being tedious and some harder to achieve encounters (like a threesome with Cindy & Gina) to keep the game a bit more challenging & interesting. Unfortunately I'm not a programmer/scripter so I'm limited by my basic html.



I wanted to make a 5-day story, I'll try to finish it but it won't be very complex, similar to what it is already. You can post the flowchart, I don't see why not

Flowchart covering all the decision in your story. With five days it could be too complex

Well that certainly got... linear...

Do you use a specialize app to make that image?

Is not that linear, is just that all of the interesting I/O is in the same path.

It was done with Lucidchart.

Over half is a straight line. That's...what linear means.

That half is just a big scene that requires a lot of I/O who makes it looks as linear. There is a lot of branching before that scene for a short story.