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 Tentacle Dreams Story Changes 
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Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2016 10:35 am
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Tentacle Dreams

The story "Tentacle Dreams" needs changes to it otherwise it looses it's believably and while you may think i'm talking about the sci fi elements i'm not more the grounded elemenets of the story such as his workplace and the lab environment along with the general environments of the story as they lack something that should otherwise be there to suggest that this world is lived in by others and used by others.

1. Let's talk about "The Lab" for starters.

His lab requires a few adjustments, ventilation as he'd otherwise suffocate drainage as it would otherwise flood being a basement.

The room space he's got in the top left corner needs to have some walls otherwise those machines would easily destroy his hearing, needs a proper bed even if it's a mattress on stacked pallets and somesort of entertainment such as books to help with his experiment.

2. Apartment building.

It's basement needs to be expanded, It requires a boiler room for heating with a power box and breaker to be triggered by the player if they do something wrong during the experiments.

A laundry room to otherwise function as a proper apartment room with regular traffic.

His lab requires a more solid door, something that is lockable with chains maybe a bar on the back?

The stairs should be able to access every floor including the roof.

Every Apartment should have the appearance of an apartment rather than a room with a bathroom.

Image

3. Work.

Going to other levels on the building should require an access card after hours.

The building lobby should security at the reception desk

There should be reception desk on the floor he works on.

The server room should be larger and have some cooling and ventilation.

4. School.

It would make more sense for his experiments to be receiving university funding and to otherwise have deadlines to meet, it would also allow for an offshoot of the story if deadlines aren't met.


Sun Jun 18, 2017 11:07 am
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Rank 9
Rank 9

Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2016 10:35 am
Posts: 50
Aliens teleporting and opening portals.

The alien shouldn't be able to teleport neither should they be able to open portals, Once you teleport the alien into the world it's here for good.

The player should have to build a portal to send it back furthermore there should be an attempt made to send it back the way it came only for the machine to be destroyed requiring and for the player to discover that your original machine was only one way and that the alien had hitched a ride with your original experiment.


Sun Jun 18, 2017 11:21 am
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